My hope for you

Poetry speaks to our minds and hearts and is meant to communicate more than the sum of its words. It is an apt expression of our walk with the Lord. I encourage you to forward this link to those you love. I pray this poetry leads you into reflection and prayer but I also want to start a conversation. You, too, have something to share with others-not only in person, but also here. Your experience is yours to give away to build up and learn from others in the Body of Christ. Share the word that you hear, the experiences you have lived. We are all part of the New Evangelization.If you also want to contact me by email, feel free: genefirn@yahoo.com

Table of contents: October 7, 2012

Thursday, January 31, 2013

The Outsider

no say
I had no say
she was my daughter
but I had no say
whether she lived or died
how insane is that?
it sucks
I was goin' nuts
a lot of other guys wouldn't give a damn-
they'd take the easy way out- but
I wanted to take care of her
but her mom didn't
want me in her life
I loved her- especially after
I knew we were going to
have a daughter
it drove me crazy that
I could lose my baby
I wanted to be a Dad
I didn’t want anything
to happen to her
I felt so responsible-
we didn’t expect to get pregnant
we thought we were being careful
but things happen-
even in the best of circumstances-
then when we found out
everything fell apart
what I thought was a good relationship
turned out to be more one-sided and
finally the truth came out-
she was leaving me and
with her went my daughter
she was so confused
depressed
it was agony watching her
close the door
without even saying goodbye
phone calls went unanswered
knocks echoed in an empty hallway
what if she didn’t want my daughter?
what if she felt she couldn’t handle it all?
what if she couldn’t bear to
give our baby up for adoption?
my daughter would die and
me with her
even though everyone says
it’s the mother’s choice-
she was my baby too  but
she didn’t care about my feelings
I felt so powerless
I tried praying for the first time
in a long time
I begged Him to save her to
help her Mom to
know I’d be there for her...
if He cared at all for my daughter
He'd save her
if He was who He said He was 
He wouldn't let her die...
I begged but
silence was my answer
only silence
nothing more
then one day I got the call
it was over
the deed was done
my baby was gone
I was numb
I couldn’t say anything
and hung up
why Lord?
why did you let this happen?
if you are so powerful and loving
supposed to be the Lord of all 
why didn't you stop her from
killing my baby?
why didn’t you do anything?
she was helpless
just a baby and
you let her be killed
what is wrong with you?
if only I could have talked with her mom
if I could have just showed her
how much I loved them
I didn’t understand and 
I was really pissed...
and frustrated
the why’s and if only’s kept coming but
nothing satisfied my questions
no answers were good enough
and in the darkness
of my loss
for weeks to come
I could only cry and mourn her
as I thought of
what could have been-.
the life we could have had together
a life I could only dream about
and imagine
but then... sometime...
someway... somehow... I began to
have a faint and desperate hope
that I would someday
be reunited with my baby
it would be in heaven
a redemption of this whole mess
we would finally be united
we would recognize each other
and I would hug my little girl
kiss her
pick her up and
she would screech in delight at
having her daddy
swing her ‘round and ‘round
toss her up in the air
and catch her
laughing.
and we would be together
please Lord
make it happen
someday
somehow
someway    

Reflection/Discussion:
-Describe the father's experience.
-How would you answer his protestations to God?
-How common is it for the father to regret an abortion?Why/not?
-What would happen if more men took responsibility for the pregnancy? 
-Why isn't adoption a more frequent option to abortion?
-Why don't we hear very much about fathers who do?
-How can that change?                                                               
-What is the hope for fathers whose child was aborted?
                                                                         











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