The Gazes

I remember every encounter...each 

one a stepping stone leading to his 

final resting place in my heart...each

memory highlighted by unfamiliar 

feelings like when.. I couldn't believe

my eyes...in the midst of all he was

suffering...all that pain...every

miniscule movement a torture...

every breath brought no relief but 

simply a prophetic sign of more to 

come...even his eyesight was obscured

half-blinded by blood's steady stream 

from its thorny creche - a mocking 

symbol of his true identity and still...

with all that...he found me imbedded 

in the jeering sometimes simply curious 

crowd fascinated by the death spectacle 

of the King of the Jews..it was as if he 

had searched me out like I was a long

lost sheep hiding amongst a pack of 

howling wolves...it brought to mind the 

first time our eyes met months before...i

t was in another crowd but this time a 

friendly one...everyone was hungry not 

only for food to fill our stomachs  but for

his words which mysteriously fed our

empty hearts way out in the empty 

countryside...he was teaching things 

we never heard before when suddenly 

he stropped to break for food though 

there were merely scraps which somehow 

he miraculously multiplied and had

baskets and baskets left over...amazed 

yet confused I got up to leave but his 

gaze moved me to stay to find some 

kind of answer to even one of the 

questions swirling in my mesmerized 

mind....who is this man? how can he 

do that? his words are touching places 

in my heart that I didn't know existed...

everyone had an opinion -some said this..

others that...I only knew I had to keep 

searching for something more that I didn't 

have right now.....then there was another

crowd this time near Passover...but this

one was cheering him as he rode a colt 

into Jerusalem...waving palms thinking 

he was the Messiah even though he didn't 

claim to be a warrior king...again the gaze..

very strange...like he had expected that 

I would be there - a familiar face even 

though as yet we had never spoken to one 

another...now...this...horrific spectacle...

not what I ever expected for such a gentle 

miraculous person...totally innocent of 

their bogus charges and now planted 

between murderers and yet... even in all

his pain he found me...again that haunting 

gaze .but this time as I took steps toward 

him he cried out as he Finished his

Sacrificial Offering amidst his Mother's

mournful goodbye as thunder rolled and 

lightning cracked and darkness covered 

the mount and apparently the Temple's 

Curtain was Completely Torn as death

hushed the staring crowd left wondering 

if there could possibly be any more drama 

to what they just witnessed.....now...days 

later... on the road to Emmaus...unrecognized..

he turned up as a fascinating stranger totally

transforming Sacred Texts into pearls of \

Revelation about the Resurrected Christ 

till at fireside he gazed at me again and 

with a smile offered me the broken bread

with his nail-scared hand and in a Final 

Encounter bade me to join him in that 

Sacred Feast...now - even though he 

vanished -I know He is Alive ..He un-

veiled the eyes of my heart...then I knew

who He was and who I am in Him...He 

is my Lord and Savior and I am His forever...

reborn by his Spirit...on mission to witness 

for His Kingdom to a world broken by sin.... 

hungry for healing and the Bread of Life...

so...what about you? are you hungry for More?...

Ask...Seek...Knock...and it shall be yours...

Reflection / Discussion:

-Ask Jesus to show you times in the past when

  He has sought you out. What was happening then?

  What was your response?

-Do you want More in your life?

-By reading this poem, is He seeking you now? Why / not?

-Have you asked Him to be your personal Lord / Savior?

-If not...what is holding you back?

- Are you asking...seeking...knocking...for More?

-What does it mean to "be His Forever"?

-What does it mean to be "reborn by His Spirit'?

-Do you have a "mission in life"?

-Are you 'hungry for healing'?

-What is the "Bread of Life"?

-He is smiling at you now, how's that make you feel? 

.that same gaze

only this time it was followed

with a smile...and it was then

I know I was reborn...never

more to forget that gaze even

when it would be my turn 

on that cross because of him...

The Difficult Talk

Father...I don't want to have this talk...

WHY IS THAT?

I know you already know why so why don't You just tell me? 

BECAUSE YOU NEED TO OWN UP TO IT

YOURSELF FOR YOUR OWN BENEFIT...SO

SPIT IT OUT...YOU CAN DO IT...I'M GIVING

YOU THE GRACE...BUT AHHH...FOR GRACE

TO WORK IT HAS TO BE FREELY RECEIVED...

YOU KNOW...THAT OLD "FREE WILL" THING...

SO...NOW WHAT?...WHY DON'T YOU COME 

BACK WHEN YOU'RE READY?...

No...I'm sorry for being such a little so and so...

Ok...I'm angry and frustrated at Jim...it's so 

irritating that he never seems to change...he's 

always the same...never really wants to share

anything personal or go beyond the superficial...

he hardly ever shows appreciation and is so 

self-absorbed...it's so irritating...

SO WHAT NOW?

what do you mean?

WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT 

ALL THIS?

I don't know....how about changing him?

SO YOU WANT ME TO TAKE AWAY HIS FREE

WILL SO YOU WON'T FEEL SO IRRITATED? 

O Father...You are too much!...

HOW'S ABOUT YOU ASKING FOR THE GRACE 

TO LOVE HIM WHERE HE'S AT AND PRAY FOR

HIM TO COME CLOSER TO ME?  CHANGE IS 

DIFFICULT FOR HUMANS....INCLUDING YOU...

JIM HAS HIS OWN ISSUES AS DO YOU...NOW 

YOU SEE WHAT I DEAL WITH EVERYDAY

WITH EVERYONE...THINGS CAN CHANGE FOR

EACH PERSON WHEN THEY ADMIT THEIR 

WEAKNESS AND ACTUALLY WANT TO  CHANGE

BUT THAT IS DIFFICULT BECAUSE OF THEIR

FALLEN NATURE AND IS DIFFERENT FOR 

EACH PERSON...SO...WHAT ABOUT YOU?

DO YOU WANT TO CHANGE?...

Well...I'd rather see Jim change...

SO YOU WON'T FEEL SO IRRITATED AND 

SORRY FOR YOURSELF? BETTER FOR 

YOU...LESS OF A HASSLE...IS THAT IT? 

Well...to be honest...yes...

HOW'S THAT SOUND TO YOU?

Pretty self-centered.

IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?

No.....

SO NOW WHAT?

Help me Father...to love Jim where he's at...

serve him where he's at...be patient...persevere..

WALK IN HIS SHOES...YOU HAVE NOT DEALT

WITH THE THINGS HE HAS AND IS DEALING

WITH...LIVED IN HIS CIRCUMSTANCES...PRAY

FOR WISDOM FOR HOW YOU CAN ENCOURAGE

HIM...LOVE HIM...WHAT WAS IT THAT YOU 

WERE TALKING ABOUT AT YOIUR MEETING

THE OTHER NIGHT?

Accompaniment...

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT?

Not a coincidence was it?

NO...WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT 

FOR JIM?

Maybe I should be more active in seeking You for 

what I need to accompany him? 

LIKE WHAT?

Like everything...everything we've been talking about...

but please...forgive me for my self-pitying and whining

and not for my heart to change and what Your Will is 

for Jim and how I can encourage and accompany him on

his journey...

I KNOW IT GETS DIFFICULT AND FRUSTRATING AT

TIMES...MAYBE A LOT OF TIMES...BUT THERE IS 

GRACE FOR WHATEVER YOU NEED...WHETHER IT'S 

WISDOM..PATIENCE...PERSEVERENCE...LOVE...GRACE

NOT TO JUDGE OTHERS BUT TO ACCEPT THEM WHERE 

THEY'RE AT...FOR A CHANGE OF HEART...I AM READY

TO GIVE YOU EVERYTHING YOU NEED BUT YOU 

MUST ASK AND RECEIVE...I DO NOT FORCE YOU 

OR ANYONE ELSE TO SERVE...

Sounds pretty complicated

YES...BUT YOU CAN HANDLE IT...IT IS GOOD FOR YOU

TO ADMIT YOUR STRUGGLES...MANY STRUGGL

UNTIL THEY ARE WORN DOWN AND NEEDLESSLY

PAY THE PRICE.. MANY MORE REFUSE AND GO THEIR 

OWN WAY...AND WE KNOW WHERE THAT LEADS TO...

SO...BE AT PEACE AND ASK...SEEK...KNOCK...THERE IS

GRACE TO ACCOMPANY...IF YOU CHOOSE TO DO SO...

AND GRACE TO DO THAT AS WELL...

Thank You Father for listening to me. I need it all starting

right now...forgive me for my sins and give me all the 

Graces I need to serve Jim in the way he needs and especially 

Mercy for me and Jim as well

Reflection / Discussion:

- Why do we need to 'own up to our weaknesses'?

- What is your experience in struggling with the weaknesses of others?

- How does 'free will / grace' work in relationships / in your life?

- Why was it difficult to have this talk with the Father?

- What does 'accompaniment' mean?

- How can you have this kind of a 'talk' with the Father?

- Do you think it's possible? Why . not?

- How does this talk help you in your relationships?

The Ingenious Decption

taking offense at objective facts -                

even when they are presented simply...              

clearly...respectfully with no other                                                              

intention than love of the other...                       

desiring the healing good of self-

acceptance as Created by their                  

Heavenly Father - is an ingenious                

deception as if you are disrespecting                

the receiver by 'hatefully' contradicting 

their cherished yet totally subjective                   

cornerstone of their confused identity 

system nonsensically and sadly 

constructed upon ever so shifting 

sands of disoriented feelings lived 

out daily in emotional decision-making 

the fruit of which has logically led to 

harvests of personal misery while 

clinging to delusional distortions of 

reality fiercely asserted yet erupting 

in endless hours of insecurity and 

eternal anxious imaginations of self-

preoccupation and yet now here you 

are having the audacity to question 

their otherwise affirmed identification

hoping they may see the light of reality 

through the fog of deception and help 

lead them to begin a new journey to joy /

peace by realizing that their true / rock-

solid identity is a Beloved Child of God 

Made in His Image and Likeness and by

Grace a Beloved Disciple of Jesus Filled 

as a Temple of the Holy Spirit and from 

Conception Created with God-given DNA 

all of which opens the door of meaning /

purpose in this life and Eternal Joy in 

the next...but predictably...you are  accused

of having the unmitigated gall to suggest 

they read an article which presents logical 

and robust scientific arguments contradicting 

their subjective feelings of self-identity 

which though humanly / biologically 

impossible to change are aided and abetted 

by a life-sentence of prescription drugs and 

proven by superficial external indicators 

and vehemently purported by preferred 

pronouns and last-but-not-least radically 

ratified by irreversible mutilating medical 

procedures - all distorted attempts of so-called

'gender affirming care' - carried out by 

the now defunct 'do no harm' Medical 

Practitioners - which if not offered - are 

considered disrespectful / reprehensible 

leading supposedly to suicide and therefore

condemned vociferously and so you 

should stop with the offensive suggestion

that they consider an alternative solution 

of Therapy as well as a Spiritual Awakening 

which is so contrary to their now entrenched 

lifestyle and a 'carpet-bombing' to their 

indoctrinated  identity infrastructure where 

true is false and false is true and the abnormal 

is normalized so often initiated at a vulnerable / 

insecure age by agenda-driven ideologues 

masquerading as empathetic Counsellors only 

interested in introducing / guiding gullible 

minors in to an 'exciting journey of self-discovery' 

yet hidden from their parents who in many 

instances will lose custody if are found to not 

support their child's transition who BTW 

is too young to buy tobacco or alcohol...vote...

get married...get a credit card...have a resume...

start a career....drive a car... get a mortgage...

be a marine...buy medication and yet can decide 

which of the plethora of genders they feel they 

are today and maybe change tomorrow only then to  

make life-long alterations to their bodies leading 

for many to a regret-filled / painful de-transition 

in the future...yet...you are the one accused of 

abuse by refusing to bow down to the Identity 

Idols by not endorsing their hallucination / 

self-mutilation / self-destructive fantasies...so..

stop with the 'love-talk' and professed concern 

for their 'true happiness and eternal welfare' 

because it is so 'hateful' to 'attack' these courageous 

children with so-called 'scientific data' which are 

so hurtful /embarrassing / having no place in their 

enlightened world of a new age / life-saving 

gender adventure in which you are not welcomed 

to have a voice nor place at the table since you are 

obviously a horrible / abusive bigot who spreads 

propaganda that only leads to despair and death...

so...off you go or we will call the thought-police 

to serve your - hopefully - never-ending sentence 

of public humiliation / isolation / cancelation...

and there you have it...all in all...an ingenious 

deception...and the demons love it...

Reflection / Discussion:

-Define True / False...Objective / Subjective...Real / Imaginary

-Is this description accurate or a fantasy?

-Why? What proof can you offer?

-What is happening in Canada...Great Britain...Netherlands about this subject?

-When / where / who started all this?

-What is the process of 'de-transition'? 

-Put faces / biographies on those de-transitioning.

-How does social media play an crucial role in all this?

-Why do you still have your children in government schools?