at some point in your life -actually
as many times as necessary - perfectly
tailored trials will take you to a place
where you would rather not visit let alone
reside for seemingly endless periods of time -
it is the Lord who is permitting you to go there
and since His ways are not your ways
nor His thoughts your thoughts your
reaction may be some variation of 'I'm
not ready for this' or 'why is this happening
now?' or 'why me?'... because always it will
be at an inopportune time accompanied with
questions / fears / doubts about His Love
for you or His 'punishing' you for whatever
but the Reality is that He is leading you
'deeper' and 'further into sharing' His Holiness /
Nature...in a word 'purifying' you - so that you
may experience His Love in ever deeper
ways -or maybe for the first time - learning
who He is and who you are in Him - your
'True Identity' - for you will never be able to 'see
Him as He is'...'live in His Eternal Presence'..
'enter into the Fullness of His Love' unless you
are 'holy as He is Holy'...for you were Created...
then Redeemed...that you may be 'Sanctified'...
your human nature has been 'Divinized' - Gifted
through Baptism to share in His Divine Nature
in this present life and fully in the next but
because of your fallen nature and your own
complicities through personal sin - refusals to
'love as He Loves' / rebellious adventures exploring
this fallen world's sinful offerings / exulting the 'self' in
all it's prideful / self-indulgent deviations from the
'narrow way'....then there are the 'wounds' festering
in your pain-filled darkness which have entwined /
grafted themselves into your 'heart' making inroads /
detours / road blocks to your 'life in the Lord' so
that there is still more of the 'old self' that He desires
to transform into the 'new self' by exposing them in
His Light and the Healing Balm of His Tenderness...
yes you've repented...yes you still seek Him...yes
you love Him and desire to please Him...but you
have not arrived yet...you are still 'on the way' to
being 'wholly Holy' / set aside for His Glory / Honor
and He is not content to 'leave any stone unturned'
in His Grace-filled pursuit to draw you into the Fullness
of His Love...He will not rest until you are totally
One with Him...so....that takes us to your present
trial and since there is nothing easy in 'total
transformation' -dying to self and Life in the Spirit -
especially when He is permitting you to experience
your limitations by having exhausted yourself on
your own 'personal treadmill of self-reliance' while
painfully learning to...
-Trust in His Love for you
-Rely upon His Grace
-Follow the Holy Spirit's leading
-keep your eyes upon Him not yourself
-surrender your will to His
-let go of your own goals / plans / timing
all the while not seeing how your
present circumstances will work out or
ever change the way you'd like them to
as you continually learn again and again
to take it one day at a time... take advantage
of every avenue of Grace He offers...speak
plainly / simply / humbly / what is in
your heart...coming to Him as you are not
as you think you should be for He knows
your thoughts / feelings before you speak
them but how can He respond to you when
you're not willing to face them yourself
-be open to humbly / courageously getting help
especially when you resist reopening past afflictions
long ago purged from the consciousness of your daily
life but which so intrudes your present reality
-thank Him for your circumstances even
without feelings of hope since His Word
says that 'all things work for good for those who
love God' and that 'I will never leave you
nor forsake you'...still...change can be agonizing...
healing arduous...aversion to change is
somewhat 'normal' but do not 'fight / resist' the
healing process since the longer you do the
more painful it will be either in this life or
from fiery purgation in the next...realize that some
days are better than others...you are on a journey
but the Truth is that you may be by yourself at
times but you are never alone...He ii with you
even if you can't experience that.right now 'for
we live by faith not by sight' so do not let your pain
keep you from spending time with Him because you
are having a 'bad day'...the enemy will be trying to
prevent you from growing / changing / gaining freedom /
holiness so 'do whatever you have to do' to go after your
healing whether it's counselling / support from other
Christians / prayer with others...so...day by day...in humble
surrender to His Will / Love which He so freely
poured out through His Passion and Death to which now
you join your agony with His in a Sacrificial Offering
so that you may be free to receive the Fullness of Life He
so desires to Bestow upon you and those you love...
as many times as necessary - perfectly
tailored trials will take you to a place
where you would rather not visit let alone
reside for seemingly endless periods of time -
it is the Lord who is permitting you to go there
and since His ways are not your ways
nor His thoughts your thoughts your
reaction may be some variation of 'I'm
not ready for this' or 'why is this happening
now?' or 'why me?'... because always it will
be at an inopportune time accompanied with
questions / fears / doubts about His Love
for you or His 'punishing' you for whatever
but the Reality is that He is leading you
'deeper' and 'further into sharing' His Holiness /
Nature...in a word 'purifying' you - so that you
may experience His Love in ever deeper
ways -or maybe for the first time - learning
who He is and who you are in Him - your
'True Identity' - for you will never be able to 'see
Him as He is'...'live in His Eternal Presence'..
'enter into the Fullness of His Love' unless you
are 'holy as He is Holy'...for you were Created...
then Redeemed...that you may be 'Sanctified'...
your human nature has been 'Divinized' - Gifted
through Baptism to share in His Divine Nature
in this present life and fully in the next but
because of your fallen nature and your own
complicities through personal sin - refusals to
'love as He Loves' / rebellious adventures exploring
this fallen world's sinful offerings / exulting the 'self' in
all it's prideful / self-indulgent deviations from the
'narrow way'....then there are the 'wounds' festering
in your pain-filled darkness which have entwined /
grafted themselves into your 'heart' making inroads /
detours / road blocks to your 'life in the Lord' so
that there is still more of the 'old self' that He desires
to transform into the 'new self' by exposing them in
His Light and the Healing Balm of His Tenderness...
yes you've repented...yes you still seek Him...yes
you love Him and desire to please Him...but you
have not arrived yet...you are still 'on the way' to
being 'wholly Holy' / set aside for His Glory / Honor
and He is not content to 'leave any stone unturned'
in His Grace-filled pursuit to draw you into the Fullness
of His Love...He will not rest until you are totally
One with Him...so....that takes us to your present
trial and since there is nothing easy in 'total
transformation' -dying to self and Life in the Spirit -
especially when He is permitting you to experience
your limitations by having exhausted yourself on
your own 'personal treadmill of self-reliance' while
painfully learning to...
-Trust in His Love for you
-Rely upon His Grace
-Follow the Holy Spirit's leading
-keep your eyes upon Him not yourself
-surrender your will to His
-let go of your own goals / plans / timing
all the while not seeing how your
present circumstances will work out or
ever change the way you'd like them to
as you continually learn again and again
to take it one day at a time... take advantage
of every avenue of Grace He offers...speak
plainly / simply / humbly / what is in
your heart...coming to Him as you are not
as you think you should be for He knows
your thoughts / feelings before you speak
them but how can He respond to you when
you're not willing to face them yourself
-be open to humbly / courageously getting help
especially when you resist reopening past afflictions
long ago purged from the consciousness of your daily
life but which so intrudes your present reality
-thank Him for your circumstances even
without feelings of hope since His Word
says that 'all things work for good for those who
love God' and that 'I will never leave you
nor forsake you'...still...change can be agonizing...
healing arduous...aversion to change is
somewhat 'normal' but do not 'fight / resist' the
healing process since the longer you do the
more painful it will be either in this life or
from fiery purgation in the next...realize that some
days are better than others...you are on a journey
but the Truth is that you may be by yourself at
times but you are never alone...He ii with you
even if you can't experience that.right now 'for
we live by faith not by sight' so do not let your pain
keep you from spending time with Him because you
are having a 'bad day'...the enemy will be trying to
prevent you from growing / changing / gaining freedom /
holiness so 'do whatever you have to do' to go after your
healing whether it's counselling / support from other
Christians / prayer with others...so...day by day...in humble
surrender to His Will / Love which He so freely
poured out through His Passion and Death to which now
you join your agony with His in a Sacrificial Offering
so that you may be free to receive the Fullness of Life He
so desires to Bestow upon you and those you love...
say 'yes' Lord Jesus...'Have your way in my life'...
Amen...May it be so
Reflection / Discussion:
-What is the Lord doing in your life now?
-What are the sources of your present 'trials'?
-Are you being open to sharing your problems with others? How?
-Are you taking advantage of the many avenues of Grace? How?
-Are you speaking honestly / frankly with the Lord / others? How?
-Are there areas you do not want to deal with? Why?
-Speak to the Lord about them and ask Him what the next step should be.
