The Abba Journey

Lord Jesus...I need to talk to you 

about this...I've been putting it off 

probably because I didn't quite know 

how to deal with it or talk about it...so...

in my mind I know that the Father is my 

Heavenly Father but...I don't really KNOW 

that in my experiential life...it's not a 'lived 

reality' because there was so much missing 

in my relationship with my own Dad - there's

kind of a 'void' there so I just 'draw a blank' 

when I say the 'Our Father' or hear Him talked 

about... and probably it's even more so for all 

the many who are 'fatherless' - the 'father wound'

makes our relationship with Him - at the least - 

very problematic / needing to be 'worked on' or -

at the most - next to 'impossible' to even think 

about -with the name 'Father' making an unending

'echo' in the dark cavern of our wounded souls...

but I don't want that to happen so please..heal me...

set me free to really KNOW Him..experience Him 

as my 'Abba'...Papa...Daddy...just like your Love 

for the Father...the One who truly Loves me / brought 

me into existence so that I could become His Adopted 

but nevertheless Real Son...Beloved...Intimately 

Accepted...Secure in His Love not just temporarily 

but for all Eternity...but again...what does that mean 

not just for my life...right now / moving forward...but 

also for all those 'fatherless' out there?...

Jesus....

'I know your pain...the loss you feel

is real.. your anger is understandable...

it was not your fault that you felt 

abandoned / rejected / unloved...your

wounds are deep leaving you open to

the lies of the Enemy...accusations that

you are 'unlovable' as the source of 

your identity ...then...leading you to look 

for other sources to heal / fill your very

real needs / desires but which in reality 

do not but only exacerbate your predicament

leading you farther away from from Me - the

True Source of your Healing - and into

the Darkness of Sin's Deceptions

I don't want that to happen, Lord...so

what am I to do then?...

Jesus...

You have already done the First step -

Responding to My Grace by Repenting for 

your sins... Giving your life to Me... Receiving 

Me as your Lord and Savior for...'no one can 

come to the Father except through Me'...

Yes and I still remember it as if it were last night...

Jesus...

Yes it was a Joy for Me too...

What next?...

Jesus...

Forgiveness is the key that unlocks

the door separating you from your 

healing... the sins committed against 

you were real / hurtful...they did 

deep damage to you...wounding you

profoundly...but...My Grace is Infinite...

Able to penetrate beneath your depths...

The Power of My Spirit that I Offer you 

is beyond your own limitations yet knowing 

that you are free to Accept or Reject it...

I want to Accept your Offer of Power

to Forgive but...I'm still angry at him even

though I know he didn't intend to hurt me...

I just needed so much more from him...

Jesus..

You are right to be angry but holding on to it 

is like clinging to a ship's anchor as you would a 

lifesaver while sinking into the murky abyss of

resentment, bitterness and self-destruction...

Oh...So...what do I do with my anger...and 

doesn't that just 'let him off the hook'?

Jesus...

It's not just the 'anger' but also the disappointment /

loss of what should have been...the pain / hurt and

frustration...I see your heart and experience your

wounding from what did / did not happen...

Give it all to Me...Give him to Me as well...I

Love him just as I Love you even though you too

have sinned against Me but in other ways...

Again...Let Me take care of your Dad...Right now...

I am more concerned with you...

Ok...how should I do this?...so many things 

come to mind when I think of him...it's

hard to sort it all out...

Jesus...

I understand you feel somewhat overwhelmed 

but I will help sort it out with you...Put aside 

some time to spend with Me in a quiet place...

at a quiet time..asking for My Spirit to come 

upon you to lead you through your 'Healing

Journey'...I will show you many things...so it's 

better if you bring a notebook for it will evoke

many feelings / memories and it will be good for

you to review later on....then forgive him for each 

offense verbally...checking each off your 'list'...and 

Give him and all of it to Me...

Wow...Ok....Anything else?...What about 

Your Abba becoming my Abba?...

Jesus...

I didn't forget...your 'Healing Journey' is 

directly connected to your 'Abba Journey'...

the Enemy will try to disrupt / inhibit this

Journey - he wants you to 'transfer' your 

'Father wound' difficulties onto Abba to 

prevent / suppress The Reality of My Abba 

also being your Abba which is an established fact 

because by your Baptism -  He IS your Abba...but 

your wounded heart prevents you from experiencing 

that...just as it hindered your coming to Me...but My

Grace will Fill your Lacking...I will be drawing you 

into My Love for Abba...and...just as you invited Me 

to come into your life as your Personal Lord / Savior

so too it is good for you to acknowledge / accept 

Him as Abba in your life...He is already there for We 

are One...but.saying 'yes' to His Love for you makes

it 'personal' / 'real' for you realizing that My Sacrifice 

on the Cross was also His Sacrifice to Give Me to 

you as your 'Redeemer'... Knowing Me is to know 

Abba and Knowing Abba is to know Me... Know

too that Revealing Him to all His Children IS My 

Mission so seek Me for that Revelation...My Spirit 

will lead you...open the eyes of your heart to Abba 

as you both Forgive your Dad as well as seek Abba's

Presence within you...be open...it shall happen...begin 

speaking to Him...telling Him what is on your heart 

about your past experiences...what your desire / need..

Seek and you shall Find..Knock and it shall be Opened..

for..after all...you ARE His son and He Loves you as 

your Eternal Abba...

Prayer: Lord Jesus,  I believe you are leading me 

on this journey to know your Abba as my Abba 

because you came to reveal Him to us. My wounds 

have stifled that but I want it to change. Save me Lord. 

Pour out your Spirit upon me to guide me and give 

me the courage, determination and perseverance to 

face and work through whatever you show me

so I can receive the freedom you offer to know and

love Abba just as you do and let me see Abba through

your eyes...hear Him through your ears...Know Him

through your mind...Love Him through your heart....

Reflection / Discussion: 

-Did you have a Dad in your life?

-How did your relationship with him affect you?

-If you didn't, how has that affected you?

-Sin is both of commission and omission, so

 ask for the Grace and do the work by making the list.

-Ask for the Grace to verbally forgive him.point by point.

-Follow through on these.

-Give it all as well as your Dad over to the Lord.

-Has there been any 'transference' to Abba? What? 

-Specifically reject them and Repent for them. 

-When you're ready, ask the Father to be your Abba...

 tell Him your desires and express your feelings to Him.

-It is a process, be patient and persevere.  

-If needed, find someone trusted to help you work through this.