The Quintessential Love

beyond anything I ever experienced

as well as imagination's fantasy

for sure...any expectations...

Infinitely beyond my first love

so Delicate...Humbling...Undeserved

His overwhelming acceptance with

such an Intimate Embrace of 

Forgiveness that took my breath

away along with all my guilt 

and shame from that now 

unbelievable decision to end

my precious baby girl's life

despite all my doubts that 

lingered... days running into 

weeks and months...a sadness

no one could touch and a crime

I could not forgive but only 

punish with endless recriminations

but then...that invitation came to

what they said was a healing retreat

and it was there that I experienced

His Quintessential Love like no other's

a Merciful Release from my dark 

dungeon of death into the Paradise

of His Everlasting Light...so 

Gentle...even "Tender" is too

harsh a description...yet Powerful -

a Blazing Fire that Consumed my

sorrowful past with His Abiding

Peaceful Presence that in my mind

I could envision His Look of Love

that Calmed my staggered heart

Inviting me to Follow Him as

my Lord and Savior which I so

desperately desired...He who IS

Love...Joy...Peace and so now I

Live FOR Him...and want to 

Invite YOU to "Taste and See"

because He is Real...Alive...and

you too can Know Him...Know

His Quintessential Love...Mercy

Forgiveness...in fact...Love that

is Infinite...Eternal...Perfect..so

simply...Ask and it Shall Be

YOURS...

Reflection / Discussion:

-How does the Lord treat repentant sinners?

-Have you experienced forgiveness for abortion from

 the Lord...yourself...your child? 

-Is all that possible? 

-Have you ever experienced 'Quintessential Love'?

-What was it like? 

-What were the circumstances?

-If not, ask Him to reveal Himself to you.

-How can we help others to 'see' the truth of life?

-Get to know and understand the facts of  pregnancy / abortion.

-Pray daily and get involved in some way with the prolife movement.

-

 

The Outsider

I walked away so...

I had no say...

I can't believe I did that...

she was my daughter

and I had no say

whether she lived or died -

how insane is that? -

it sucks...I was goin' nuts...

a lot of other guys wouldn't 

give a damn but...I did though

I wasn't in a place where I

could do anything about it...

her Mom didn't want me in her life

so I wasn't 'free' to save my baby...

I had no choice...so

I took the 'easy' way out- but

in reality it wasn't that easy...

I wanted to take care of my baby but

I felt like I had to back off....

I loved her Mom- especially after

I knew we were going to
have a baby girl...

it drove me crazy that

I could lose my baby...

I wanted to be a Dad -

I didn’t want anything

to happen to her...

I felt so responsible...

we didn’t expect to get pregnant...

we thought we were being careful

but things happen...

even in the best of circumstances

then when we found out...

everything fell apart

what I thought was a good relationship

turned out to be more one-sided and

finally the truth came out-

she was leaving me and

with her went my daughter...
her Mom was so confused...
depressed...

it was agony watching her

close the door

without even saying goodbye...

phone calls went unanswered

knocks echoed in an empty hallway...

what if she didn’t want my baby girl?  

what if she felt she couldn’t handle it all?

what if she couldn’t bear to
give our baby up for adoption?

my daughter would die and
me with her -

even though everyone says

it’s the mother’s choice 

she was my baby too but

her Mom didn’t care about my feelings...

I felt so powerless 
I tried praying for the first time

in a long time...
I begged the Lord to save her - to
help her Mom to
know I’d be there for her -

if He cared at all for my daughter

He'd save her...

if He was who He said He was 

He wouldn't let her die -

I begged... but...
silence was my answer -

only silence -

nothing more...

then... one day... I got the call...

it was over -

the deed was done -

my baby was gone...

I was numb...

I couldn’t say anything so 

I just hung up...

why Lord?

why did you let this happen?

if you are so Powerful... so Loving...

supposed to be the Lord of all 

why didn't you stop her from
killing our baby?

why didn’t you do anything?

my girl was helpless
just a tiny baby and
you let her be killed...

what is wrong with you?

if only I could have talked with her Mom...

if I could have just showed her

how much I loved them both...

I didn’t understand...   

I was really pissed...

and frustrated...

the why’s and 'if only's' kept intruding but

nothing resolved my questions-

no answers were good enough-

and in the desert

of my loss -

for months to come -

I could only weep and mourn for my baby

as I thought of

what could have been-.

the life we could have had together...

a life I can only dream about

and imagine...but then... sometime...

someway... somehow... I began to
have a faint and desperate hope

that I would someday

be reunited with my little girl...

it would be in heaven -

a redemption of this whole mess -

we would finally be united...

we would recognize each other -

see each other face to face... I 

would look into her Mother's eyes 

and I would hug my little girl...

kiss her...

pick her up and

she would screech in delight at

having her daddy

swing her ‘round and ‘round

toss her up in the air

and catch her

laughing / crying in joy...

knowing we would be together -

forever...

please Lord...
make it happen

someday

somehow
someway    

Reflection/Discussion:
-Describe the father's experience.
-How would you answer his protestations to God?
-How common is it for the father to regret an abortion?Why/not?
-What would happen if more men took responsibility for the pregnancy? 
-Why isn't adoption a more frequent option to abortion?
-Why don't we hear very much about fathers who do?
-How can that change?                                                               

-What is the hope for fathers whose child was aborted?

                                                                         

The Griever

the gift of life-

creation's marvel- is
Mine to give

intended or not by
those bestowed...

this daughter of Mine is

made in My Image

imprinted with My Likeness

sparked with My Eternal Flame

given a call to share My Love-

an Intimacy unmatched-

only hinted at by the
coming together of
man and woman in
breathless wonder 

she has
her mother’s eyes
her father’s smile

but also 

My Heart to serve

My Will to love

imprinted in her soul

precious in My eyes

intended for heroic mercy

destined to bring hope to the
lonely and defenseless

life was torn from her before

seeing the light of day or the
dawn of night

what was designed to be a
time of knitting together

was instead a
tearing apart

unborn by a choice-

not her own-

made by the one closest

yet furthest from her

innate desire to live

she was rejected with
unjustifiable cause

lured by songs of

freedom’s false face

though intended for harm

I make all things new

though left to die alone

she is nearer to Me than the
womb from which

she was wrenched 

though treated as refuse

she is My precious treasure

though rejection

leaves the temporal unfulfilled

she finds eternity waiting for her

in My arms singing
lullabies of Love

with tears of grieving

not only for her but

her mother as well for
each victim has died
one in body
one in spirit

having refused 

freedom's offering

ignored a
proven truth of life
yet

Love conquers for all who
hear and respond to
My Word of New Life

a new choice

by a Grace received

and a reality embraced

a turning away from darkness to

grasp the Light

an offer of salvation and a
forgiveness beyond hope

I hate the sin but
I love the sinner

so much so that I bore

her just punishment

by a sacrifice

without bounds

evil will find justice

unless a turning back is turned

by a heart choosing

unmerited Mercy over the
throne of self

but for now the result is the
cleansing of innocence

leaving only the promise of
healing and hope of

unending reunion

to those who
surrender in trust

Reflection/Discussion:
-How is God described in "The Griever"?
-What does the image of God "singing lullabies of love" convey?
-Why is the Mom a victim as well as the Daughter?
-What does "choosing unmerited mercy over the throne of self" mean?
-What does it mean that God hates the sin but loves the sinner?
-Why doesn't God just stop the evil of abortions?
-Whose responsibility is it to help stop abortions?
-What would you do if someone came to you for help?

The Regret

three

she would have been
three today
her deathday is the
hardest to endure
my thoughts race
remembering
that day as if were
yesterday when
she no longer
grew within me
my feelings were
so  conflicted
especially 
after I saw her image
but I felt so alone
cornered with
no way out
the people at
Planned Parenthood
encouraged me
that it was for the best
it would be ok
I could get on
with my life now
only I found out
I couldn't
I couldn't stop
thinking about her
that she didn't
have a choice in
all of this
her right to life was crushed
darkness began
to overtake me
I lost interest
in everything
if it wasn't for
my family I
wouldn't be here now
it was that way
far too long
then I heard about
a retreat called
Rachel's Vineyard
it was different
I found acceptance there
courage to face
my past decision
I experienced forgiveness
from the Lord
myself and
my little girl
it was almost like 
she was praying for me to
turn back to the Lord
surrender my life to
follow Him
wherever He leads                                                                                 
and slowly
things began to change
I  resolved to
help others not to
make the same mistake
to bring His Love where
heartache reigns
I still regret it all
but when it gets
most difficult
like today
I join my sorrow
with His
for other Moms to
save their little ones
still
I have a hope
that the Lord will
bring us together again
but this time
with open arms

Reflection/Discussion:
-Describe the Mom's experience.
-How common is it for women to regret their abortion?
-How does "The Regret" relate to "The Daughter"?
-How can some women NOT regret their abortion?
-What steps can a post-abortion Mom take to find peace?
-What part does forgiveness play?
-What is the hope offered in this poem?  Real or not real? Why?
-What can you do to support Moms who are thinking of aborting their child?