Abba...another trust update.. which I know You already know and that this is more for my benefit which I am grateful for... so anyway.. while. reading Ralph's book last night- which I know You led me to do because I normally don't do at night- I read @ the 2 camps of humanity for or against God .. between "those who fear the Lord and trust in Humans those who wickedly defy Him and trust in themselves"...and it really hit me that I am one who feels I "have to" trust in myself...it's not out of "defying" You but more out of "necessity"...and BTW I'm just realizing this as I text now...I really didn't want to face this...I was resisting talking - kind of putting my arm straight out to push it away- but I sensed Your Grace and want to be healed and free to trust You and grow closer to You...so...my first reaction to the "trusting myself" realization was how stupid that is...I've done things in the past out of selfishness...weakness of the flesh... imprudently...against logic...things I regret...all things I've had to forgive myself for...so logically...why would I trust myself/ rely on myself not to make bad decisions. ..like sin...again when I know I have a "fallen nature"?
YOU KNOW WHERE ALL THIS IS ROOTED, RIGHT?
You mean my 'thorn' which. is rooted is my "narrative"?
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