Lord Jesus...I need to talk to you
about this...I've been putting it off
probably because I didn't quite know
how to deal with it or talk about it...so...
in my mind I know that the Father is my
Heavenly Father but...I don't really KNOW
that in my experiential life...it's not a 'lived
reality' because there was so much missing
in my relationship with my own Dad - there's
kind of a 'void' there so I just 'draw a blank'
when I say the 'Our Father' or hear Him talked
about... and probably it's even more so for all
the many who are 'fatherless' - the 'father wound'
makes our relationship with Him - at the least -
very problematic / needing to be 'worked on' or -
at the most - next to 'impossible' to even think
about -with the name 'Father' making an unending
'echo' in the dark cavern of our wounded souls...
but I don't want that to happen so please..heal me...
set me free to really KNOW Him..experience Him
as my 'Abba'...Papa...Daddy...just like your Love
for the Father...the One who truly Loves me / brought
me into existence so that I could become His Adopted
but nevertheless Real Son...Beloved...Intimately
Accepted...Secure in His Love not just temporarily
but for all Eternity...but again...what does that mean
not just for my life...right now / moving forward...but
also for all those 'fatherless' out there?...
Jesus....
'I know your pain...the loss you feel
is real.. your anger is understandable...
it was not your fault that you felt
abandoned / rejected / unloved...your
wounds are deep leaving you open to
the lies of the Enemy...accusations that
you are 'unlovable' as the source of
your identity ...then...leading you to look
for other sources to heal / fill your very
real needs / desires but which in reality
do not but only exacerbate your predicament
leading you farther away from from Me - the
True Source of your Healing - and into
the Darkness of Sin's Deceptions
I don't want that to happen, Lord...so
what am I to do then?...
Jesus...
You have already done the First step -
Responding to My Grace by Repenting for
your sins... Giving your life to Me... Receiving
Me as your Lord and Savior for...'no one can
come to the Father except through Me'...
Yes and I still remember it as if it were last night...
Jesus...
Yes it was a Joy for Me too...
What next?...
Jesus...
Forgiveness is the key that unlocks
the door separating you from your
healing... the sins committed against
you were real / hurtful...they did
deep damage to you...wounding you
profoundly...but...My Grace is Infinite...
Able to penetrate beneath your depths...
The Power of My Spirit that I Offer you
is beyond your own limitations yet knowing
that you are free to Accept or Reject it...
I want to Accept your Offer of Power
to Forgive but...I'm still angry at him even
though I know he didn't intend to hurt me...
I just needed so much more from him...
Jesus..
You are right to be angry but holding on to it
is like clinging to a ship's anchor as you would a
lifesaver while sinking into the murky abyss of
resentment, bitterness and self-destruction...
Oh...So...what do I do with my anger...and
doesn't that just 'let him off the hook'?
Jesus...
It's not just the 'anger' but also the disappointment /
loss of what should have been...the pain / hurt and
frustration...I see your heart and experience your
wounding from what did / did not happen...
Give it all to Me...Give him to Me as well...I
Love him just as I Love you even though you too
have sinned against Me but in other ways...
Again...Let Me take care of your Dad...Right now...
I am more concerned with you...
Ok...how should I do this?...so many things
come to mind when I think of him...it's
hard to sort it all out...
Jesus...
I understand you feel somewhat overwhelmed
but I will help sort it out with you...Put aside
some time to spend with Me in a quiet place...
at a quiet time..asking for My Spirit to come
upon you to lead you through your 'Healing
Journey'...I will show you many things...so it's
better if you bring a notebook for it will evoke
many feelings / memories and it will be good for
you to review later on....then forgive him for each
offense verbally...checking each off your 'list'...and
Give him and all of it to Me...
Wow...Ok....Anything else?...What about
Your Abba becoming my Abba?...
Jesus...
I didn't forget...your 'Healing Journey' is
directly connected to your 'Abba Journey'...
the Enemy will try to disrupt / inhibit this
Journey - he wants you to 'transfer' your
'Father wound' difficulties onto Abba to
prevent / suppress The Reality of My Abba
also being your Abba which is an established fact
because by your Baptism - He IS your Abba...but
your wounded heart prevents you from experiencing
that...just as it hindered your coming to Me...but My
Grace will Fill your Lacking...I will be drawing you
into My Love for Abba...and...just as you invited Me
to come into your life as your Personal Lord / Savior
so too it is good for you to acknowledge / accept
Him as Abba in your life...He is already there for We
are One...but.saying 'yes' to His Love for you makes
it 'personal' / 'real' for you realizing that My Sacrifice
on the Cross was also His Sacrifice to Give Me to
you as your 'Redeemer'... Knowing Me is to know
Abba and Knowing Abba is to know Me... Know
too that Revealing Him to all His Children IS My
Mission so seek Me for that Revelation...My Spirit
will lead you...open the eyes of your heart to Abba
as you both Forgive your Dad as well as seek Abba's
Presence within you...be open...it shall happen...begin
speaking to Him...telling Him what is on your heart
about your past experiences...what your desire / need..
Seek and you shall Find..Knock and it shall be Opened..
for..after all...you ARE His son and He Loves you as
your Eternal Abba...
Prayer: Lord Jesus, I believe you are leading me
on this journey to know your Abba as my Abba
because you came to reveal Him to us. My wounds
have stifled that but I want it to change. Save me Lord.
Pour out your Spirit upon me to guide me and give
me the courage, determination and perseverance to
face and work through whatever you show me
so I can receive the freedom you offer to know and
love Abba just as you do and let me see Abba through
your eyes...hear Him through your ears...Know Him
through your mind...Love Him through your heart....
Reflection / Discussion:
-Did you have a Dad in your life?
-How did your relationship with him affect you?
-If you didn't, how has that affected you?
-Sin is both of commission and omission, so
ask for the Grace and do the work by making the list.
-Ask for the Grace to verbally forgive him.point by point.
-Follow through on these.
-Give it all as well as your Dad over to the Lord.
-Has there been any 'transference' to Abba? What?
-Specifically reject them and Repent for them.
-When you're ready, ask the Father to be your Abba...
tell Him your desires and express your feelings to Him.
-It is a process, be patient and persevere.
-If needed, find someone trusted to help you work through this.
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