The Doubter

no...it's not just about 

sin / guilt - though at times

consternation ensues when

your enemy lights the fireworks

by his accusations / lies and

you jump down the rabbit hole

once more as he delights in

your 'guilt pangs / confusion' 

searching for 'absolute certitude' to

your infinite doubts buried in the 

mired maze of your delicate conscience

no...it's also about your entire life...

it's about spiritual warfare...the

daily battle for peace / joy / love

in the Lord...the real question that 

you need to ask is this - is it 

going to be 'me or Thee'? for 

that is ultimately where the 

Battle rages most fiercely...it 

is the prized territory that your 

enemy most covets...he who knows

you better that you know yourself

for his address is that rabbit hole maze

that he has lured you into more times

than you care to remember...he knows

your weaknesses / patterns / tendencies

that spring doubt / fear / anxiety into

action avalanching downhill into the

darkness of 

'no man's land' of self-absorption...

introspection...self-pity...hopelessness...

sheer terror...yet even then know that

all is not lost for the Warrior King

is on your side...in fact...He is with you

even when you feel 'trapped'...His 

Love for you is Infinite...beyond 

every imagination / limit you may

think separates your now terrified life from 

His Pure / Holy Presence within you...

the Beauty in your heavy cross is that 

you Know your need for His Grace...

your utter Dependence upon Him...

the Truth is that you do not have to

do...say...think...pray...act...'perfectly' /

in a 'particular pattern' in order to 

arrive at the 'promised land' of peace /

joy / love...no...that is a lie...a trap...

straight from the pit of hell...no...

the Reality is that All is a Gift...

undeserved...Pure Mercy to you...

for He First Loved you even before 

your first breath...He Called you into

existence by name...through Baptism

bestowed upon you a New Identity as

a Child of God because He Loves you

as you are...for Jesus shed His Blood that

your sins be forgiven...guilt washed away

that you are Free to Love Him...free to

love one another...live in His Presence

day by day...by Grace Alone...He has

Gifted you with His Holy Spirit - Power

from on High to live in Victory not 

defeat...simply because He loves you

even when you struggle to believe...

trust...hope...love...over and over...

so...listen now...for you must be alert

because 'your enemy prowls about like a

roaring lion seeking someone to devour'

and your must learn to 'resist him steadfast

in your faith' and this is the way forward

to Gain the Victory...day by day...battle

by battle...remembering that your may

be by yourself but you are never alone...

He is with you...Loves you...especially

when you don't 'do things perfectly' which

is always since you will only be 'perfect'

in Heaven when you are One with Him...

these are your 'marching orders'...the way

forward to 'Gain the Victory' - not just in

avoiding 'sin' but in 'Knowing His Love

for you and Loving as He Loves in 

Freedom and Joy'... and...remember too

that there is no sin involved in these...

knowing that He will make up for 

anything done 'imperfectly'...

-Thank Him for your cross for 'All things

 work for good for those who love Him and

 are called according to His Purpose'...even

 you don't see it now...you shall some day

-Unite your cross to His for those you love

 therefore do not 'waste' your suffering...use

 it for 'good'...  Satan doesn't like that...

-All is Grace so you don't have to just 

 'try harder' and 'figure everything out yourself'

-Do not trust your 'feelings' for Satan can 

 manipulate them to attack you in order to 

 'murder' you psychologically...emotionally...

 'spiritually' even 'physically'...whatever way

 he can to hurt you because he is the Enemy of

 the Lord and therefore of you because you 

 Love Jesus

-Doubts are 'false accusations'...'lies'...temptations

 to be resisted / not paid attention to

-Any questioning about...doing / saying / thinking /

 in the 'exact / proper / perfect way' is from Satan 

 not the Lord

-Since you are a Child of God / a Disciple of Jesus /

 and the Holy Spirit rests upon you...you have Jesus'

 Authority therefore whenever you are tempted to 

 question...doubt...wonder if...ask 'did I'...or 'feel'

 condemned / rejected / guilty / anxious / afraid or 

 'just want to make sure that'...then you need to 

-Renounce / Rebuke / Reject in the Name of Jesus 

 whatever demon is hassling you...eg. the 'accusing / 

 lying spirit'...'spirit of scrupulosity' 'fear / doubt /guilt 

 and tell them to 'go to the foot of the Cross there to let 

 Jesus deal with you'

-Ask Him to... help you rely on Him not yourself...

 not trust your feelings because they are meant to 

 give your intellect 'data' to evaluate in order to make 

 a decision by your 'will'... they are not 'tyrants' to be

 'obeyed without question'...know that He Loves you

 Perfectly even though you are imperfect...

-Satan wants you to even questions your faith...trust...

 love...beliefs...God's Word...forgiveness...ALL are 

 temptations to be resisted and He will help you do that

-He Knows your Heart so don't worry about 'doing it 

 just right'

-When you pray...spend some time with Him telling 

 Him what you are feeling / thinking / having a hard 

 time with whatever is on your mind

-Obey your Confessor in all things pertaining to doubts

-Read Sacred Scripture asking for faith / trust to accept 

 His Truth and to Rely upon His Word for He is speaking

 to you through it

-Remember...'Be Perfect as your Heavenly Father is Perfect'

 is the Lord's job not yours...'I can do all things through Christ

 who Strengthens me'...'In my anguish I cried out to the Lord,

 He answered and delivered me from all my fears;. The Lord 

 is with me, I will not be afraid. What can man do to me. The 

 Lord is with me as my helper. I will look in triumph upon my 

 enemies.' 'I will never leave you nor forsake you'. 

-'Thee not me'...Thank you Jesus

Reflection / Discussion:

-What is scrupulosity?

-What is 'Spiritual Warfare'?

-What is 'taking authority in the Name of Jesus' mean?

-Has 'going down the rabbit hole of darkness' happened to you? How?

-How can you take advantage of your Confessor to help you deal with 

 a 'tender conscience'?

-How can 'Redemptive Suffering' help in carrying your cross?

  

The Final Word

the Simplicity of
Life in the Lord is
Promised to all who Decide to

Follow Him as His Disciple- a

Journey from Eden by way of

Gethsemane through Calvary into

Eternal Life by the Power of the

Holy Spirit...despite all the complexities

of our lives which are blended with

suffering not of our own choosing 

by having to bear the consequences

of our fallen nature with all its

wounds / fiery distortions distilling

life through self's broken prism 

as well as when it is a byproduct of
a Wounding Process that includes

the sins of others against us..

our vows in response based on

the Enemy's accusations / lies

leading to our serious sins which can

get embedded into our ways of 

thinking / behavior / identity- that is-

our own Complicity...sinful / selfish 

decisions / attachments to this world's 

ways / ...all oriented to enthrone 

oneself in the kingdom of self...reliance /

absorption  / will / rebellion / pleasures...
me...me....me...but now our 'old self' -

encased with a 'hardness' that must 

be Pierced by His Love in order to

'free' us to 'Love as He Loves'- is like a

multi-level building which now we 

are tasked to remodel from the 

ground up into the Pattern of a 'New 

Creation' by embracing a Healing Process 

having renewed our Commitment to 

'Take up our Cross and Follow Him' ..

and thus Willing to bear whatever Price

that must be Paid to Enter that 

Bright Portal on the Narrow Road to 

Eternity's Perfect Union...
Discipleship / Growing in Holiness /
Becoming a Man / Woman of God /
Renewing our Minds / Putting to
Death the deeds of the Flesh /
Being Perfect as our Heavenly
Father is Perfect....all come down to 

One Thing...Purification of the 'old self' 

while 'Putting On' the 'New Self'..

Sanctification...Growing in Holiness...

it sounds complicated / way too difficult...

and you may say...I even have trouble 

trying to exercise regularly let alone 

thinking about the "Way of the Cross'...

remember though....we are not 'in charge' 

so therefore we don't have to figure all this 

out by ourselves...'He who Loves us" is 

'in Charge'... and 'how' He 'Brings us into

Perfect Union with Himself' is up to Him...not us...

Therefore He will 'Allow' many 'Trials'

to overshadow us 'Along the Way' -

securities taken away...relationships in

distress...health / financial challenges...

persecution...doubts / fears about the future..

so many storms of life...more than we can count...

all of which Bring our Weaknesses into the 

Bullseye of His Target Range - His

Purposeful Graces of Purification -  

at the same time we come to 'Know' His

Love and Faithfulness in ever deeper ways...

He becomes our 'Joy' and 'Peace' more and more...

we Grow in our ability to 'Trust' Him Even 

with our Very Lives...we have been Gifted 

with the Holy Spirit - Power to do what 

we cannot do on our own- as well as

'Brothers and Sisters in the Lord' to support 

each other..His Word and Teaching to

Instruct / Form / Encourage us...His Body and Blood

to Nourish us...we are Called to Follow Him 

who Promised to Never Leave Nor Forsake us...

Yes but... where is the 'Simplicity' in all

of this? Where do we even begin?  it seems

overwhelming...well...that's because it is...

it is supposed to be..it is beyond us..

left to ourselves we would all too easily 

fall back into striving / discouragement /

even Pride in our own 'accomplishments' 

instead of Humbly Thanking Him...

He Knows our weakness and is Bringing us

Closer to Himself one step at a time in 

such a Way that we can Only Rely upon Him..

it is the Secret of the Saints...those who have 

Walked before us in His Footsteps up that 

Hill where He Bore our every suffering /

sin / weakness...so that 'He could Free us'...

not... 'we free ourselves'...it is a Cleansing that
Only He Can Do...which we can Only Receive 

as we Cooperate with His Spirit in us...
How?...What does that Mean?...Ask Him...

'Present yourself as a Living Sacrifice'..

Wait upon Him...Let Him Lead...He has a 

Plan for us...Let Him Do It..Depend upon Him...

Take Time each day to Be with Him...

Be Real...Speak what we are feeling / 

thinking...ALL of it.....Listen.....And ...

By / with / in His Grace...Say His 'Final Word'...
...Yes...

Reflection / Discussion:

-Why is it important to be 'Real' / 'speak what you are thinking / feeling' in your prayer life -doesn't 

  He already know those things?  If you don't....then begin...today.

-Is it easier or harder to pray in times of difficulty? Why?

-What is the 'Secret of the Saints'?

-How does the 'Final Word' express the epitome of 'Simplicity of Life in the Lord'?

-What do 'feelings' have to do with 'Faith'?

-How is the Lord 'Purifying' you now?

-How do you find support in the midst of these challenges?

-What have you learned through your 'trials / suffering'? 

-Have you gained or lost ground in your Relationship with the Lord through you trials? How / Why?

-What do you need to do to 'keep on keeping on'?

The Template

Trials present challenges to 

our Faith which we would

rather not have to deal with

more-often-than-not overwhelming

our comfort-level of Trust

leaving us grasping for answers

that do not readily appear even

after exhaustive pleading to

the Lord to whom we have firmly

committed ourselves / believed in

His Love for us but Who now seems 

alarmingly distant / very quiet

resulting in and often yielding to 

temptations of doubt / fear /

anxiety which leads to us just 

'trying harder' to Trust which 

puts you firmly on the 'treadmill of

self-reliance' and into the 'revolving

doors' of frustration / discouragement / 

self-pity / more effort to Trust

while not 'understanding' what's

going on or how to 'solve this

predicament' and just 'putting our

head down / putting one foot in 

front of the other with teeth tightly

clenched in resolve to come out

of all this in one piece' or worst of

all....giving up believing that 'all

this doesn't really work' to which

I say....you're right..it doesn't...but

then ask you...is there another Way? 

yes...there is a Template to Follow...

it is the 'Way of the Cross' which 

began in the Garden's Agonizing

Resolution to Accept Calvary's Price

for the Forgiveness of our Debts...a

Pattern of Death-to-Self...Humility...

Surrendering to the Father's Will...

Acknowledging our utter weakness...

our inability to overcome the 

Pride of the Fall by ourselves...

our Full and Final Dependence

upon His Strength to bear this Cross...

Joining our Offering with His for

the sake of those we Love...

Trusting in His Merciful Love...

Accepting this Trial in Faith that He

Knows what He is doing even if we 

are struggling to see His Purposes...

Relying upon Him to Give us 

His Perseverance / Patient Endurance...

it is Essential that we tell Him of our 

deepest anguish...transparently

reveal our true self to Him even

though He already knows it all

for only then can He address our

true self Wounded from Eden...

the World and our Sinful Complicity...

that which we often hide from others...

sometimes even ourselves when we 

don't want to face the pain...

All is Grace...Salvation...Redemption...

Resurrection...Pentecost...Purification...

Sanctification...Heaven...face to Face

with Father...Son...Holy Spirit...

Eternal Joy and Peace...All is Grace...

so too is our Daily Life in Christ...

every Trial...every Challenge...

every 'Revelation of His Love'...so...

Don't just 'try harder'...Let go of 

'self reliance'...Ask for every little 

thing we need...Grace to...Accept 

our 'Neediness'...Rely upon Him not 

ourselves...Be Transparent...Be open 

to Share our Inner Self with others in 

the Lord...Keep our eyes upon Him...

Trust Him...Believe His Word...Pray - 

not less but more...Overcome 

temptations...Faith in His Will for us...

His Plans / Timing for this Situation..

Love especially when we don't feel 

we can right now....Draw us Closer 

to Him through this Trial...Teach us

what He wants us to Learn.....Surrender / 

Acceptance of this Trial...Thank Him 

for His Abundant Graces...Faithfulness...

this Present Situation...Knowing that... 

we are Not Alone and that 'All things work 

for Good for those who Love Him and 

are Called According to His Purpose'...

Reflection / Discussion:

-What is the 'Template' for dealing with Trials?

-How does your experience of Trials compare to the above description?

-Talk about your experience of a significant Trial in your life.

-What is your experience of 'self-reliance' vs dependence on the Lord?

-Why is 'humility' essential in the Christian Life?

-How are you 'broken' by Eden / World / our Complicity of sin?

-Find supportive relationships if you don't have any.

-Do you have a daily prayer time / Scripture prayer time? Why / not?

 

The Subjugation

having enslaved you to porn the
Enemy clearly understands your
weaknesses... he is well-aware of the
wounding in your life which began
your journey into this rabbit-hole because
he orchestrated it from the beginning..
unbeknownst to you he cunningly
deals to you from a stacked deck laughing
while you go 'all-in' every time
expecting to win the jackpot only to
lose once again going deeper into
deception's debt...he delights in your
delicious destruction as you
'take the bait' expecting so much
but gaining so little yet loving the
enchanting enticements despite
momentary hesitations which you
then sweep aside by unrestrained
proficient passions submissively
surrendering to exorbitant expectations-
bewitched once again- while he
licks his lips at your incessant
seduction by his temptations..
ensnaring you in a pitiful cycle of
spiritual suicide as you also willingly
cooperate in the artful destruction of
all that you hold dear yet putting up
with the bouts of shame / guilt which
leave you discouraged / depressed
at your vice-gripped  increasingly
passionless marriage but tellingly
not so much that you are willing to
let go of compelling portrayals of
alluring charms which bring-up
imagination's intrusively graphic
images at the most inopportune times
as well as nightly visitations while
you restlessly slumber next to your
now less-than-enticing wife for....
how can she compete with those
lovelies who get paid to beguile
you? then again...how would she
ever understand...especially the
really weird stuff....so...hush....
keep it under wraps...not a word..
makes things kind of awkward eh?
but...think about this...did you realize
there were demons involved in this
whole thing?....and not just one
but many who conspire flawlessly
to bolster your bondage through
using your memory and imagination
as their personal playground for
their XXX expert portrayals pushing
your cravings for the unattainable which
is exactly what will continue to entice you..
the groundwork for this snare was laid
long ago in a beautiful / bountiful
garden watched over by an unsuspecting
couple duped by Satan himself leaving
their progeny wounded for life...to
seek pride's fulfillment by self-centered /
autonomous decisions while their
passions chaffed under directives from
an intellect darkened by deception
as well as a will weakened by
evasive emotions eagerly seeking
gratification without any securities
thus leaving all of us vulnerable to
the craftiness of the Evil one who
lured you into seduction's grasp...but
this wasteland story had a starting-point-..
you did not go from purity to porn
overnight...from victor to vanquished
without being set-up for this plunge
into darkness...no...and much of the
following may be new to you applying
to each according to their circumstances...
you were wounded by the sins of others
who were entrusted with your care...
sins of omission / commission...lied-to
by Satan and his minions....you then
believed those deceptions...vowed /
made decisions in response- sometimes
sinful ones- so everything would be on
your own terms to protect yourself...
you would be the master....only trust
yourself while pushing the pain way
down out of sight / consciousness and
do what you feel is best for you..
rebel at unwanted authorities...restrictions..
unknowingly being submissively led by
demons through well-worn paths of compensatory
searches finally arriving at your dreamland
destination of porn- the ready-made choice to
finally find relief from the pain...distractions
from carrying all that baggage...now
there's something to look forward to...
so sound the trumpets for your
subjugation now officially begins....but then..
the Lord reached out to you...revealed
His Love for you...you surrendered /
decided to follow Him...gave your
life to Him...repented of you sins..
resolved to Serve Him First...yet
here you are...sins you many times
repented for still plague you.....
but now you know the source but
maybe not the intricacies of how
you got here...that you need to
take to Lord who gives you His
Mother...Our Lady of Sorrows to
Accompany you through a Process
of Inner Healing / Deliverance...she
will bring you to Her Son's Sacred
Heart there to reveal your wounds...
who and how of sins against you...
their effects...the false  interpretations..
the vows / decisions...conscious or
unconscious...Grace to forgive...
repent of your own sins which
entrenched thinking / behaviors
leading you into captivity...renounce
the specific demons and their lies
which have had a hold on you ..
rediscover the Truth about yourself...
your True Identity in the Lord....
knowing more deeply of His
Love for you....doing all this
with others with whom you can
fight together for freedom by the
Power of the Holy Spirit bringing
discipline from prayer and fasting....
you need help...ask the Lord for
direction...for the humility to be
transparent with brothers in the Lord.
no longer hiding your struggles... evading
the Light... lurking in the Darkness....
Jesus is the Victor...has defeated the Enemy....
Ask and you shall Receive...
Knock and it shall be opened to you...
Resist the Devil and he will flee but..
do the work...make the effort..
no longer run away from the pain but
face it with His Courage and Perseverance
because it will not be easy nor quick...rather
you shall be transformed by Grace and
Fire...burning away impurities in the
furnace of tribulation ...yet...in the end...
you shall Rejoice in His Mercy and Love
for He Shall Never Leave you Nor
Forsake you...for He is in the Process of
remaking you in His Image and Likeness
to be Holy- Set Aside for His Glory....so
Stand and Fight


Reflection / Discussion:

-How did you get here?
-What was you 'Wounding Process' ...sins against you...lies...vows / decisions that
  laid the groundwork for your subjugation to seduction?
-For more info: John Paul ll Healing Center. Tallahassee, Florida
-Find someone / group to support your journey to freedom.
-Pray daily / study Scripture / receive the Sacraments / go to Adoration.
-Find out how to deal with Demons.
-Talk with Mother Mary-Our Lady of Sorrows- when you are tempted...
  think about it...talking with Purity Herself about your desire for impurity... for
  she takes you directly into the Sacred Heart of Jesus.