The Seeker

THE SEEKER

in your silent depths
you seek to love and

be loved without

limits or measures-
the security of a union
whose acceptance and
self'-donation is a
dream of endless ecstasy
you also realize-though
do not always admit -that
it is far more than
finite love can
deliver in this life since
everything passes and is
restricted by the
earthly boundaries
of the temporal
only imagination's limitless frontiers
extend fulfillment beyond its
confined expressions-
even marital love-
however satisfying - is still

full of trials / suffering and

always desires more than
your fallen nature
can deliver and so
your craving remains for
something more...lasting...
satisfying...so..it may seem

that you seek in vain but.

the Truth is that I have 

placed that longing in your heart

for it is I who first seeks you
it is for you that I hunger...
aware or not
self-absorbed or generous
trapped in sin or saint
proud or humble
bitter or thankful
hater or lover
enemy or friend
it is your heart I treasure
your love
for which I long-
in a Union
Infinite and Passionate
like Me...some of
you question My veracity-
can this be True?
is He truly like He says He is?

you think...
does He really Love... me... that way?
maybe for others but
not for me because in
your heart of hearts
you know your
weakness and poverty
secrets hidden from
everyone's eyes but Mine

sins that feel unforgivable

accusations / shame swirl in your mind

wounds buried deep within

lies about yourself and Me that

you still believe to this very day...  

but...

I do not utter
empty words
rather
they express
My Tender Mercy
the Truth of
who I Am
see
it was for YOU
I bore the Cross-
the burden of your sins-
for YOU that
My Hands and Feet were nailed
My Heart pierced
Blood and Water flowing to
Wash your heart to
make it like Mine-
a stark testimony of
My Personal Love for YOU
as I looked
into your eyes
and said...
I thirst...
Come
Say Yes to...
My Infinite Invitation...

My Love for YOU

Repent of your sin

Accept Me into your heart

as Lord and Savior
Come...yes...YOU...
Follow Me

Reflection/Discussion:
-Is "finite love" ultimately not fulfilling?  Why/not?
-How is the love of Jesus different than our love for one another?
-How are they related?
-Do you think people tend to question God's Love for them? Why/not? 

-In what way does that pertain to you?

-What are some of the 'lies' talked about?
-How can we receive His Love for us?
-What does it mean here that Jesus says "I thirst"?
-What does it mean to say "yes" to Jesus?
-How can you communicate this reality to others?

The Enemy

beware
the enemy
the father of lies
plies his trade
among unsuspecting targets
oblivious to his deviousness
while they joke about the myth of
his existence purported by
midieval zealots
dressed in black
the fictitious conclusion derived at
just the way he likes it
with scoffing at even the hint of
objective Truth
his deception that reality is
what you say it is and that
only conservatives are evil-
all haters/phobics and the like-
whether it's sincerity's deduction or
a foolish conclusion-
it all provides a score for
his victory celebration in the
end zone of hapless lives and
proves that the deluded
are vanquished and
belong to him
as his confused disciples sing
right is wrong
wrong is right
true is false
false is true-
if it exists at all-
depending on whose definition
forms the gyrating discussion
though justification's dictionary is
most often re-written by
those in power with
vociferous pandering to
the gods of this age
all under the influence of
his shadowy disguise
where tolerance
becomes totalitarian and
dialogue transforms into demagoguery
while "judge nots" judge Jesus'
Disciples way too judgmental for
today's progressive society
plentiful accusations echo within
his pitiful victims
first... in unrighteous decisions
out of weakness
leading to habits
that wound the tender-hearted and
harden the heartless whose
repeated excesses produce
pornographic slaves
then ...in self-condemnations
reverberating long after
forgiveness has been granted by
his Heavenly Foe
compulsive self-adoration-
the mother of all sin-
proves that his rebellion
continues to be perpetuated
throughout time
made present by
an ideology secured by
sweet justifications of
political correctness-
another nail in the hands of
bloodless martyrs witnessing
Gospel values-
by focusing on themselves
pride's kissing cousin
entangles the most generous
without humility's succor
and gratitude's balm
continually leading them away
from his Adversary and
down the rabbit hole of
self-fulfillment
'till they reach the reward of
darkness' deceit
"all in good time" and
"slowly but surely"
the end-game is secured
Eternal death his aspiration
misery his accomplice
evil his identity
illusion his snare
warfare hidden
in the vagaries of daily life
even though
he doesn't exist
la la la la la

Reflection/Discussion:
-How is satan protrayedin Scripture?
-What are some of the signs of his existence today?
-He is the deceiver/liar, what are some lies people believe about themselves?\
-What are some of his common temptations?
-Where do you see his deceptions present in our society?
-Do you see his deceptions in the Church? Where?
-How do you use your Spiritual Authority against his attacks?

The Tell

desires

needs

drive our inner being

more than
imagination’s fantasies

longing for contentment

pleads for mercy

upon deaf ears

leaving us wandering in a
desert searching for water to
fully satisfy our thirst
born to yearn

starving for
meaning and purpose

only finds emptiness 

in fleeting satisfactions

more- always more-

never enough

with no end in sight

can this be all there is?

are we only to live and die

always yearning to
fill our cravings

sometimes so compulsive

yet at other times

noble and breathtaking

finally to be condemned to an
endless slavery of
seeking but never finding
only in the end to discover that

infinite desire requires
infinite fulfillment

conceived to embrace Love

beyond human measurement

experiencing true satisfaction 

can only be realized

in Perfection
never imperfection

never in things

but only in Another
a Personal entwining

where Eternal Love is
forever shared

the Thou of I and Thou

the sign of Whom is 
embedded in my soul

planted there at my conception
a Mystery alluded to by

Revelation’s Tell:

restlessness of heart
for the One who is

beyond all expectations

the fulfillment of all desires
it is He who becons me to
knock and it will be opened

seek and I will find that
He was always there
waiting for me to
say yes and find true
Rest in Him

Reflection/Discussion:

-How does "tells" in poker compare to the "tell" in human nature?

-Are there any other "tells" of the Eternal One in human nature? 

-How would you describe them? 

-How could you engage someone in a conversation about the "tell" of the infinite?

The Circle

praise and thanksgiving
living for the Lord to
love Him first
above all
before all
Love as He Loves
the Ideal is
so far from my reality
but so close to my heart
so easy to be lost in daily living
caught up in circumstances
trials that challenge
faith to its edge
hope to its core
love to its end and
sometimes result in
anxious imaginations and
vain dreads that
move me imperceptively away
from the Source where my
eternal journey began
without realizing their detours of
self-centeredness
ego's enthronement
self''s futile striving
feeding my flesh's
unsavory appetites
until Mercy reveals the new
projected destination and
awakens me back to
metanoia's resolve
initiated by Grace which
points my heart back to the One
who lifts me by the Spirit's wings
before Heaven's throne
there to worship in tears of
greateful sorrow
praise and thanksgiving
resolving to Love Him
first
above all
before all and so
the circle continues
ever deeper
ever new

Reflection/Discussion:
-What is "Metanoia"?
-What is the 'circle'?
-What is your experience of getting "off track" and coming 'home' again?
-What are your 'anxious imaginations' and 'vain dreads'?
-How can we minimize 'falling away' from the Lord?
-What is your prayer life like?
-How can you become more disciplined in your walk with the Lord?
-How can you become more 'accountable' to others?

The Claim

yes or no
His claim demands an answer
He is or is not
our response has meaningful
consequences for
now and forever
He was either a madman-
another in the
long line of psychos
making wild divinity assertions
who have
come and gone
throughout history or ...
He was who
He said He was-
The Son of God
in the Flesh...and
not just a good man
doing magical deeds
beyond explanation
no..More than just nice and
a little .......off....
no... His teachings..
relationships
interactions
even miraculous deeds were
always rooted in
Life-giving Reality
not  fantasy island
well then.......was He
full of truth or deception?
He claimed to be The
Way....Truth....Life
did He lie about that?
was He proven to be a
deceiver about other things?
did He ever say one thing and
do another?
did He.......ever.......
promise one thing and
not deliver?
no......not once
then...there is the ultimate
assertion about the claim...
His Resurrection from the dead...
what we can say for sure is that
there were hundreds that saw Him
His disciples that spoke and ate witth Him
then ultimately were tortured and
killed rather than deny Him
as well as the untold numbers
throughout history who
lived lives of self-sacrifice and holiness
who also testified with their blood...
so......if it was true then
it is so now that
He is Alive!
Risen from the dead to die no more-
proof that He is the Lord
the Christ
the Son of the Living God
we must either believe Him or not
and if we believe Him
accept His claim on our lives
to be His disciples
then we will know Him
as a lover experiences the beloved
even as we become His beloved
the Source and End of our lives
it is a personal decision
a giving over of our lives
our being is transformed
and no longer merely human
but is a sharing in the Devine Life
a communion not only with Love
but also with those who also
become Divinized
there is no middle ground:
to believe a little and
not seek the more
is to not believe
to not be real
to not be true but
to be lukewarm...false
so carefully reflect upon it
He asks
who do you say I am?
madman, liar or Messiah?
deliberately choose...for
not to choose is
to choose
and if you believe His Claim
accept the Truth
follow the Way
live the Life
BE "ALL IN"....




Reflections/Discussion:
-What are the argumenets of deceiver, madman or Messiah?
-What are the arguments against believing?
-What about all those saying they believe but not act like it?
-What keeps you back from accepting and following Jesus?
-If you accept His Claim, where do you go from here?
-What does being "all in" mean practically?

The Process

Your Love upholds me in ways unperceived.
Desperate for your voice or touch
In a free-fall leading to destinations unknown
With only my fears and frustrations to comfort me,
A battle to surrender the death-grip
On my life and desires
Nurtured from long ago-
Identity's ideal both toiled and sought-
Is now contested by life's twists
And light's demise.
Clarity's illusion remembers itself
The more as tears fall within.
Silent cries for Mercy's relief,
Seeking the Lover of my soul,
Whose true union and calling
Passes through the cross.
Purity's gain lies in flaming embers
Rolling from opposing melodies and
Dancing in unison-but only in lilting revolutions.
True progress is a dream
Without compromise
Holding on with faithful weakness
Beyond resolution's might-
With only promises in sight-
Though not with any tenderness.
Trials, clothed in suffering,
Disciplines the heart
and molds the sojourner
into Light's image-though only by
Ego's power bleeding into air.
Surrender's affirmation is never-ending,
As sincere as it is impure.
Pride's effacement needs a Savior,
One who is tireless and adept
In the process of transformation
For the human heart
So entangled by self's enticing web.
Freedom from idolatry's prison-
Becoming a true child
By letting go of the me
In gift to You-
Through patient endurance-
Trusting by grace alone, and,
Never dying without a struggle,
We bear the imprint of Calgary
And a Glory to come
Letting it happen
In hope,
By faith,
With Love.

The Process

Your Love upholds me in ways unperceived.

The Look

unrestrained tears
never ending
never comforting
only piercing 
wrapped my heart

in grief's shroud
after my
boastful professions
condemned me
not once but thrice
in sterile denials of 

my Love's Identity
but Mercy's Look
exposed my soul

drenching my pride 

in a mirror of humble 

regret and yet still

bore my guilt when 

my misdeeds' memories
awoke by morning's cry...

but now...looking back 

upon my stark accusations 

Unrequited Forgiveness

finds no resistance by

my simple repentance

which loosens the bonds 

by removing the shame

and gently reveals the 

start of new horizons

after the third day dawned...

Reflection/Discussion:

-How does "The Look" describe Peter's experience?
-Why did just a Look affect Peter so much?
-Have you ever had an experience like Peter's? Describe it.

-What is 'Unrequited Forgiveness'?

-Does 'Unrequited Forgiveness' remove your shame? Why / not?

-If it does not, what is the source of the shame? 

-How do you deal with it?
-How does Peter's experience portray the true meaning of 'simple repentance'?

-Is anything keeping you from 'simple repentance'? 

-If so, why? How do you deal with it to receive 'forgiveness'?  
-What does 'repent and believe the Gospel' mean?

The Cup

overwhelmed

I lay face down
numbed by agony
desperately searching for
another possible alternative

to accomplish My Merciful

Mission while being bathed 

in streams of torment which

conflicts My Heart with an

unrestrained aversion for
what I know is coming

made even more burdensome

by the images of countless souls

vehemently rejecting My out-

stretched Hand as they plunge 

into the eternal fires... yet... Grace 

enables Me to set My Face like 

flint in resolute determination to 

descend into the valley of the 

shadow of death reserved in 

silent acceptance while oozing 

Redemption in a Passionate 

Embrace burnishes My Soul 

without compromise by no longer 

grasping at any resourceful reprieve..

so...alone in company...fighting the 

deceitful temptation of abandonment 

from above the burden drowns Me in

Victorious Defeat and by consuming 

the bitter Cup steels My resolve for 

the many hearts now and still to come 

who will Surrender to Salvation's Gift

in a Vision Trusting My Father

for the Triumphant Outcome

Reflection/Discussion:

-How does "The Cup" describe Jesus' experience in the garden?
-How does "The Cup"  show Jesus' humanity?
-What does "conflicts Me into a torment oozing Redemption" mean?
-What does "victorious defeat" mean?
-How can Jesus' experience in the garden be an integral part of your prayer life?
-What us meant by "abandoned from above"?
-What is the "Triumphant Outcome" spoken about?

The Tempest

O blessed tempest that churns my soul

with battering gusts fomenting my
turmoil's desperation cry
your unrelenting tenacity carelessly 

tosses my heart's stability leaving me
grasping for my Tether who 

slumbers in Peace bequeathing me
with only the benefit of His remembrance
offering me seemingly tepid consolation
but no longer shelter from
anxious imaginations or
vain dreads that implode within the
perceived consequences of my plight
too wild and forthright in their skills
which compel me to surrender to
a Love which will ripen into the fruit of Security
from a Union always offering more
than my faculties can grasp but which
competes for my commitment
with imagined outcomes that
ignite confusion's possibilities in a
daily contest between fear and love
jousting for deliverance's prize
or panic's triumph
thus tempest's purpose has bestowed opon me a
Graced cup to fill my thirst with a
fragrance that touches my heart
driving me to seek in bended spirit the
adventure of  His outcomes not mine and a
courage procured only by faith not by sight in the
One whose Love and Purpose for me
has been proven without question despite
circumstances' testimony

Reflection/Discussion:
-Share an experience of your tempests.
-What have you learned?
-How do faith and feelings compete in you?
-How can you get support from others?
-How do you deal with tempests that are ongoing?
-How can you support others in enduring their tempests?

The Seeing

THE SEEING

trials compete for the true perception of our present reality

often filtered by our finiteness and the prism of subjectivity
adversity challenges our Faith's vision as we seek understanding and relief

Eternity's advantage provides a more enlightened perspective
especially from the One who has already trod the Via Dolorosa and
triumphed over death's dark dominion
so let us commence the Seeing together and find the Truth midst labor's pain

you see your cross and say "Why me?"

I see your burden and say "Why not you?"
give Me the name of a loved one upon whose shoulders
you would place it in your stead for
all must walk from the darkness of the fall through change's portal
into Purity's Light though many decide to travel in the shadows
'till  in the end they find horror in the rewards
they vainly pursued

you see your cross and feel others elude such agony
seeming always to prosper while you struggle
from day to day

I see all and say no one escapes suffering
though appearances deceive
each journey is different yet the same
My call and offer have no limits save in the will of
every man since the battle for the soul is inward
and therein lies the many unseen afflictions

you see tribulation's pressure and wonder when it
will end and what purpose could it ever serve

I see gold in the making when in cooperation with My allowances
the flame of purification is accomplishing its mission

you see the temptation to escape everywhere you look
and find momentary solace in pleasure's company
sometimes turning from My Ways to seek freedom's play

but I see only a ball and chain when self is enthroned
while never finding the satisfaction sought

you see simply the struggle to carry your cross

I see your willingness to endure
Trusting despite uncertainty's din

you see your solitary journey and
despite prayer and personal support
feel the loneliness of your painful watch

I see your trusting faithfulness and the angels who
accompany your every step while My Presence fills
your sacred temple

you see the struggle to face your hardship and give
thanks in all circumstances as your feelings resist your will

I see the Spirit hovering over your waters re-creating
and renewing you in the image of Gethsemane's passage

you see a self of weakness and need

I see a heart becoming like Mine for
love is transformed by Love and in the end become One

so take comfort in these Truths
keep your eyes fixed upon Me and
Unite yourself with My timeless Calvary
for the sake of those you love and so
while seeing your present challenge
submerged in sorrow
know that this too shall pass

Reflection/Discussion:
-Which thoughts reflect your experience? How?
-Which "seeing" by the Lord struck you the most?
-How does an "eternal perspective" help?
-When looking back at past trials, how did the Lord use them?
-How do faith and feelings relate in your experience of trials?
-Do you have supportive relationships in your walk with the Lord?
-If yes, evaluate the openness and honesty with one another.
-If not, seek and you shall find at least one person to whom you can confide.

The Mother Mary

she was always there for Me

our bond like no other
My beginnings
shrouded in mystery
deterred her not in
her acceptance of Life and a
mission of humble service
joy was her covering
surrender her heart's desire
love her gift
though My Identity was
beyond her understanding and
more than she could touch
she bathed My Soul with tenderness
with a strength Divine
while her smile fed my days
always lifting Me higher
she guided others to follow Me
as she herself grew in stature
'till sorrow's lance pierced her being
while gazing in disbelief at
My stark end
yet again her submission
responded to My final request
taking all as her very own to
draw them to Myself
as her eternal calling
never yielding to temptations
she bore My spent Body
as the Gift to every soul
without ceasing her hope
despite the cost
she remains faithful
even to My return
once more but
this time in a
Glorious Finale

Reflection/Discussion:
-Describe Jesus' relationship with His Mother.
-What role did Jesus give to Mary?
-What part does Mary play in your life?
-How would you explain Mary to someone inquiring about her?

The Offering

Suffering can be devastating. The process of grieving has ebbs and flows, and, like a beautiful
but uncomfortable song, it replays in our souls 'till it becomes part of us. But, in that process of acceptance, meaning resurrects our spirits as we learn to join our suffering with the Lord's greatest gift to us, and, together, bring others to benefit from our own offering.

The Offering

sorrow propels the soul
along paths illumined by darkness
calling for surrender in the
valley of shadows
so we make our way to eternity's shore
by sight unseen burdened
under the weight of the fitted cross
'till grieving is spent by acceptance renewed
we can nonetheless
capture meaning in our loss by
joining in Love's brokeness
our wounded heart to
Another's offering
whose bitter pain from long ago is
made present by Grace and
in that decision
purpose can abound for
intentions lifted by
wings of tears and
Love's embrace
together bearing a
willingness to fulfill
what is missing in the Body
we share and extend
Grace's measure while
deepening a union of
noble caresses with a
Heart pierced and
offered for all
including
you

Reflection/Discussion:
-What is your experience of suffering?
-How can good come from our suffering?
-What does is mean to unite our sufferings with Jesus'?
-How can Jesus' suffering bring meaning to ours?
-What does Jesus' suffering for you mean to you?