The Abba Question

Jesus...You here?...

 

NEVER LEFT... 

I'm happy about that...I mainly seem drawn to talk with Abba but I don't want to hurt You or feel like I'm ignoring You..

DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT...I KNOW YOUR HEART...ISN'T THAT WHAT I TAUGHT THE APOSTLES TO DO WHEN THEY ASKED ME TO TEACH THEM HOW TO PRAY? AND ISN'T THAT WHAT HAPPENED ON CALVARY AND AT THE EUCHARIST EVERY DAY? DO NOT FEAR OR BE ANXIOUS...I KNOW YOU LOVE ME...I REMEMBER VERY  CLEARLY THE NIGHT YOU INVITED ME INTO YOUR LIFE ..OUR TIME TOGETHER.. I HAD BEEN DRAWING YOU CLOSER AND CLOSER FOR SOME TIME...YOU WERE RESPONDING TO MY GRACES...YOU HAD NOT BEEN TALKING TO ANYONE ABOUT YOUR DESIRES TO KNOW ME - ESPECIALLY ANYONE IN THE SEMINARY- BUT I KEPT PUTTING THE "BREAD CRUMBS" IN FRONT OF YOU AND YOU KEPT FOLLOWING AND PICKING THEM UP AND FEEDING ON THEM UNTIL YOU FOUND "THE WAY"  AND OPENED YOUR HEART -YOUR "GOLDEN DOOR"- AND INVITED ME TO SIT ON YOUR "GOLDEN THRONE" WHERE I AM RIGHT NOW...SO.. DON'T BE ANXIOUS...IT IS ONLY YOUR "THORN" ACTING UP AGAIN... SIMPLY GIVE IT ME...BY ASKING THE HOLY SPIRIT TO TAKE IT AND BRING IT -AND THEREFORE YOU - TO THE THRONE ROOM... THERE TO REST IN THE PRESENCE OF YOUR ABBA AND ME.. SO... BE AT PEACE AND PUT ASIDE ALL "UTS...VDS.. AND AIS" ..YOU ARE NOT ALONE...

Thank You Jesus for reassuring me ...I so much appreciate our conversations and Your Presence...keep me close to You.. never let me go...I lay it all down before You and Abba...Come Holy Spirit.. I rely on You...depend on You...

The Family Concerns

      Abba....What do you want me to do about my family?

       YOU MEAN HOW DO I WANT YOU TO SAVE THEM?...BE THEIR SAVIOR?. 

 Ok....You're funny....I get it... 

DO YOU?...YOU HEAR MY WORDS BUT DO YOU LISTEN AND RECEIVE MY WILL? 

YOU CONTINUE TO HOLD ON TO THEM ..BEAR THE BURDEN AND NOT LET MY GRACE TAKE IT 

FROM YOU....NOT GIVE THEM OVER TO ME AND SO IT WEARS YOU DOWN... MAKES YOU 

ANXIOUS AND WORRIED... YOU PRAY AND THEN LOOK FOR THE RESULTS AND WHEN 

THEY DON'T COME AS YOU WANT THEM TO COME, YOU FRET AND FEEL YOU'RE A FAILURE 

AND THEN ANXIOUSLY TRY TO FIGURE OUT WHAT YOU SHOULD BE DOING DIFFERENTLY

.How do I change Abba? It does feel like a burden...weighs heavily on me....

YOU HAVE HEARD OF THIS CONCEPT BEFORE.  "DIVINE PROVIDENCE"...I KNOW WHAT IT TAKES...

I KNOW THEM BETTER THAN YOU...I LOVE THEM MORE THAN YOU....I KNOW THEIR THOUGHTS,..

DESIRES....I ALLOW EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS TO THEM AND USE IT IN THEIR LIVES .. YES 

THEY ARE STILL FREE TO RESPOND OR NOT JUST AS YOU ARE BUT MY GRACE IS MADE MORE 

POWERFUL WHEN YOU JOIN WITH ME BY YOUR PRAYERS... THIS IS THE MYSTERY OF FREE WILL 

AND GRACE,..AND THIS IS WHY SO MANY ARE LOST BECAUSE THERE IS NO ONE TO PRAY FOR THEM,..SO PRAISE AND THANK ME FOR MY PROVIDENTIAL CARE FOR THOSE ON YOUR HEART...LET MY LOVE AND MERCY 

WORK IN AND ON THEM...GIVE ME YOUR BURDENS....AND TRUST IN MY SAVING POWER ESPECIALLY 

WHEN YOU DO NOT SEE THE RESULTS YOU DESIRE...I AM USING THIS NOT ONLY IN THEIR LIVES 

BUT ALSO IN YOUR LIFE....ASK FOR THE GRACE YOU NEED TO JOIN WITH MY SAVING GRACES IN 

TRUST AND LOVE SO BE AT PEACE LET ME BE ME AND IN CONTROL...

Yes Abba...I give them over to you...help me to trust in Your Grace and Love...Live in your Presence...

Surrender to Your Divine Providence...Live in Your Peace...I Praise you and give You Glory...I love You and 

Thank You for Your Word to me...for Your ever-present Faithfulness and Mercy...Keep me in Your Presence

and Love

Trust Update

 Abba...another trust update.. which I know You already know and that this is more for my benefit which I am grateful for... so anyway.. while. reading Ralph's book last night- which I know You led me to do because I normally don't do at night- I read @ the 2 camps of humanity for or against God .. between "those who fear the Lord and trust in Humans those who wickedly defy Him and trust in themselves"...and it really hit me that I am one who feels I "have to" trust in myself...it's not out of "defying" You but more out of "necessity"...and BTW I'm just realizing this as I text now...I really didn't want to face  this...I was resisting talking - kind of putting my arm straight out to push it away- but I sensed Your Grace and want to be healed and free to trust You and grow closer to You...so...my first reaction to the "trusting myself" realization was how stupid that is...I've done things in the past out of selfishness...weakness of the flesh... imprudently...against logic...things I regret...all things I've had to forgive myself for...so logically...why would I trust myself/ rely on myself not to make bad decisions. ..like sin...again when I know I have a "fallen nature"?

 YOU KNOW WHERE ALL THIS IS ROOTED, RIGHT? 

You mean my 'thorn' which. is rooted is my "narrative"?

YES

I feel sort of relieved about that...

 

WHY'S THAT? 

Because I was kind of condemning myself and feeling really bad about trusting myself more than You do thank You for this opportunity to deal with this...

YOU DID MOST OF THE TALKING

yes, but You were leading me and giving me the Grace to even start our time together when I was resisting it ..Abba...thank You for Your Grace.. for this healing journey...give me the Grace to trust You today.. to rely on You...Jesus.. help me to trust Abba as You trusted Him when You walked in this valley, this vale of tears that is this fallen world with my fallen nature with all its weaknesses and tendencies to sin.  help me to be a better Son....Abba...By Grace Alone...let that be my Banner as I take up my cross to follow Jesus... 

BE AT PEACE KNOWING YOU ARE LOVED... AND NOT ALONE

Praise You Abba...thank You for everything...keep me in Your Presence and Love...